


Idfk

by Juzosuke-Ishimondo (Aster_Nightingale)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Smoking, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26565271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aster_Nightingale/pseuds/Juzosuke-Ishimondo
Summary: He's scared.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	Idfk

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember what inspired this or how it came to be but here.

He's 5 when his parents are gone. He doesn't remember his mom very well, but his brother always told good stories. He doesn't remember his dad very well either, but he does remember the exact scent of his father's favorite and his least favorite bourbon, the feeling of pain, and the taste of blood whenever he thinks of him. He met him recently at a no name bar. The old man asked if he hated him. He only shrugged and replied he didn't care enough to hate him. Apparently, that was good enough, and they left it at that. He wonders briefly if he'll forget his brother one day, too, but he laughs it off. There's no way the all consuming guilt that ate him then spit him up every night would ever let him forget.

He takes a drag off his smoke. The guy in his bed would protest about him smoking on the balcony of their apartment, but he knows he'll forgive him. He always does. A part of him wants to tease the man with smoke laced kisses, but a smarter part of him argues against it. The man would just get flustered and push him away, and that was the last thing he needed to emotionally deal with right now though he'd never admit to having emotional issues. He was a man, damn it. Still, the other would still comfort him during the bad nights. He'd still hold him close and whisper sweet words into his ears until he was okay. He let out a smoke filled sigh. He really didn't deserve him.

He was 13 when he started questioning his sexuality. The first guy was...beautiful with long blonde hair, tan skin, and gentle green eyes. He was a foreigner and didn't have many friends. He let the guy into his little group of friends, and the guy was instantly his closest friend there. They never kissed, held hands, or anything, but the simple gesture of giving the other a fist-bump or buying him a soda was enough to leave him reeling for days. When he told his brother, his brother only shrugged it off and told him it was whatever. Still, he didn't kiss the guy. He would have regretted it had he not fallen for another guy later on, but he was still scared then.

"Mondo?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?" The other is holding the blanket to his chest to perserve his dignity as if Mondo hasn't seen the other man's entire body only moments before.

"Yeah, jus' thinkin'. Don' worry bout it, babe."

"Do you need to talk about it?"

He pauses as he thinks about that. "Nah, jus' go to bed, Kiyotaka."

He hears the other sigh. "Alright, I love you."

"Love ya, too." He hears the other shift before getting comfortable and falling back asleep.

He takes another drag off his smoke and fights the urge to chew on it. Kiyotaka always worried about him. He wasn't sure if he loved or hated it. On one hand, he had an adorable, handsome guy who cared about his well being more than anything. On the other hand, he had the most important person in his life worry about his dumbass. He blew out some smoke. He'd stopped getting into fights, but the other was still scared. He tried to reassure him, but it never did any good.

He doesn't remember his first time. He doesn't remember who it was with, but he was clean afterwards. He was 14 and sloshed out of his mind. The taste of whiskey nearly made him gag, but the feeling it left behind was enough to make him go for a second and third shot. His brother took his keys after the first, so he wandered off on foot. He remembers someone, black hair, clothes being thrown off, and then nothing. He wasn't sure if they were a guy or a girl. He hoped it was a guy.

Daiya forced him to get tested when he came home. He reluctantly agreed and when it came back clean his brother collapsed with relief.

"Thank, fuckin, Christ!"

Mondo thought he was overreacting, but looking back, he can understand it. His brother raised him and cared for him deeply. It was only natural to worry over him like that. Still, his brother wasn't a parent. The late nights spent up drinking with him was proof enough.

He really missed those nights. They talked about everything and nothing. Sometimes, they didn't talk at all. Sometimes, they didn't shut up. Those were the times he was most at peace with the world. He stopped that little ritual the week Daiya died. It was hard to get lost in the bottom of a bottle when you see the thing you want to forget for a moment staring at you covered in blood.

He stubs out his smoke and walks back to bed. The other welcomes him back with a smile and a warm embrace that he happily returns.

"Are you okay?"

He sighs. "I don' fuckin' know anymore."

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, please leave a kudos or a comment. Thank you for your time. ^_^


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